Suicide leaves behind a legacy of suffering, burdening the ones who remain with a loss. Maleeha Sofi reports the costs of suicides that survivors pay for life
Aasif (name changed) lay on the floor, surrounded by the scattered beads of a black scarf. His hands clutched the fabric around his neck, and the tell-tale scratches on his skin bore witness to the agony he endured in his final moments- a desperate attempt to find relief from the miseries of life.
In the aftermath of his tragic act, a profound truth resonates: suicide may extinguish one person’s pain, but it transfers the burden onto those left behind, usually the parents and the siblings.
Aasif, who had just celebrated his 24th birthday in May 2021, tragically took his own life a month later in June. In the early hours of June 17, 2021, while his family was asleep, he bid his final adieu by hanging himself with his sister’s scarf. His lifeless body was discovered by his father an hour later.
This incident occurred amidst a surge in suicides in 2021. Sadly, on the same day, another 27-year-old man also met a similar fate.
Navigating Loss
Aasif’s sister vividly recalls the incident. “When I saw him hanging,” she whispered, “I thought he was kidding, trying to tease me. In disbelief, I slapped him and urged him to stop this cruel prank.” The pain of that moment still lingers, and she finds it hard to fathom the reality of losing her brother.
To cherish the memories they once shared, she plays videos from their life together. “My brother had a joyous spirit. His constant smile would brighten up the entire day, spreading happiness to everyone around him,” she fondly remembers. “He breathed life into our home and our lives. Now, with him gone, our home doesn’t feel like home anymore. It feels empty.”
Financial Strain
Aasif was the only son of his parents. “I often find myself in his room, hugging his clothes, touching the furniture, and leaning against the walls,” his mother, said. “I call out his name, yearning to hear his voice reply just once.”
Aasif’s father, now in his 60s, copes with the pain by visiting his son’s grave every week. “For the past two years, my father hasn’t missed a single visit to my brother’s resting place,” Aasif’s sister revealed.
“I am now the only daughter of my parents, and for their sake, I must find the strength to move forward,” she asserted. However, she can’t help but lament, “His absence looms like an expansive sky, stretching everywhere, a constant reminder of the void he left behind.”
Interventions
Numerous suicide attempts are thwarted, leading to the survival of the victims. However, their lives often take a different trajectory from that point, either towards improvement or further deterioration.
In 2015, a 17-year-old girl named Asma (name changed) swallowed around 35 sleeping pills in an attempt to end her life. She believed her death was imminent, but miraculously, she survived. The experience, however, left her in a state of ‘pure horror’.
Her family rushed her to the hospital where her stomach was washed, and she remained under observation for ten days. “It was a terrible phase for everyone around me,” she recalls of the ‘dark period’. “I was given a new life.”
Before this suicide bid, Asma had been grappling with suicidal tendencies for an extended period, unaware that it was a psychological issue requiring expert help. She vividly remembers her mother crying and her father collapsing upon seeing her condition – a memory etched in her mind.
Asma reflects on her parents’ response after the incident. “They became more protective, fearing a recurrence of such an act in the future,” she said. Despite the burden of guilt, she now recognises the blessing of survival. Reflecting on her immediate thoughts after swallowing the pills, Asma unveils, “The haunting question of ‘What if I die?’ struck me deeply. Today, at 25, I perceive life as truly beautiful.”
Shifting Demographics
As per data released by the State Disaster Response Force (SDRF) in September 2022, there were a total of 365 suicide attempts recorded since February 2021. Tragically 127 lost their lives.
For two decades, there has been a notable shift in the age group of suicide victims. In 2001, the majority of suicides (33.6 per cent) were committed by individuals in the age group of 30-44 years. However, by 2021, a significant change occurred, and the majority of suicides (34.5 per cent) were committed by people in the age group of 18-30 years.
In every social dimension, the parents of those lost to suicide face an arduous journey towards healing and finding a semblance of hope in the face of unbearable sorrow. The impact is far-reaching, underscoring the need for open conversations about mental health, empathy, and support for those facing the aftermath of suicide.
